...music isn't just my history, it's a vital aspect of my creative life. It’s part of my essence...
There is something about Milly! Warm, inviting and a mean mover on the dance floor, Milly shares with us how self employment has changed her life...
T&P: What is your background, Milly? What did you study, and is what you studied part of your current career?
Milly: I began my career in film and television as a child actress until my mid-twenties and then worked in casting. These were exciting, privileged experiences, but I always felt I hadn’t quite landed on my true “thing.” Starting work at such a young age meant I’d never had the chance to explore myself academically or creatively.
It wasn’t until I turned 30—when my son was three—that I began to explore the world of psychotherapy and coaching, initially as a client and later through formal training. I took a postgraduate psychodynamic psychotherapy course at Birkbeck in London, which completely opened my mind to the possibilities and benefits of therapy—not just for others but for myself. That moment was hugely pivotal, both personally and professionally.
Today, I run a private practice in two areas: classic psychodynamic psychotherapy for individuals and business and career coaching for individuals and teams. My approach is integrative and relational coaching with a psychodynamic foundation.
I initially set out to support women in business—particularly in navigating the mental health challenges that can arise in professional spaces. That mission continues to inform and inspire my work.
T&P: What is your approach to being self-employed?
Milly: Being self-employed is a mix of beautiful freedom and nerve-wracking financial unpredictability! I’m naturally less structured—and being diagnosed with dyslexia in my mid-40s helped me understand myself better, so I now counter that by setting daily non-negotiable tasks.
I’ve found freedom to be nuanced. It’s empowering but also requires discipline and self-awareness to manage its ups and downs.
T&P: Discovering your dyslexia later in life must have been a shock — how have you used this as a superpower rather than something to hide and be ashamed of?
Milly: I always knew I was dyslexic — reading as a child was virtually impossible. What was interesting, though, was that I could learn huge blocks of text when I was acting, even though I couldn’t read fluently off the page. It wasn’t until I went to university that I realised I needed to look at this in detail. At first, having it formally confirmed was upsetting; it made me reflect on just how much I struggled as a young child.
But now, I see that so many positives have come from having to work around my dyslexia. It’s never stopped me — if anything, it’s pushed me harder to succeed. I’m grateful for what I’ve overcome, mainly because there were times when I felt such deep shame and embarrassment. Even now, I make so many typos that I’ve learned to laugh it off!
My son, who is 18, is also dyslexic, and we often talk about it as a creative gift — an interesting difference rather than something negative.
T&P: What made you choose this independent route rather than being an employee?
Milly: After years of working within companies, I found the constraints stifling. I craved the autonomy to build something aligned with my values and rhythm. I’ve also run my own company and various restaurants—very different experiences, especially with a large team in hospitality—but this chapter felt different. When my son turned 16, it marked a turning point. I felt ready to commit to building something of my own, reflecting who I am as a woman, a mother, and a professional.
T&P: How do you find clients?
Milly: Primarily through Psychology Today, but word of mouth has also become a significant source. I’m very grateful for the organic growth over the past few years.
T&P: What do you find most challenging about being self-employed?
Milly: Finances, without a doubt. I also miss being part of a team—but the rising cost of living makes financial stability an ongoing challenge, especially in therapy and coaching, where many people need support but struggle to afford it. I often adjust my fees to reflect what clients can manage, which isn’t always sustainable for me, but I genuinely believe in the value of the work.
T&P: How long did it take to fill your practice?
Milly: It was a slow start—just one or two clients at first, which, at the time, felt worrying. But in hindsight, it gave me space to grow into the work. I now see around ten clients a week, and that slow foundation allowed me to evolve in a way that works.
T&P: How do you balance life and work—especially when passion and profession overlap?
Milly: Boundaries took time to develop. As someone who coaches others on work/life balance, I am now more attuned to my needs. I divide my time into thirds: one-third business, one-third leisure (fun!!), and one-third creative and research-based pursuits that fuel my personal and professional life. I always loved the party. I grew up in Dalston in East London in the 80s and 90s. I have realised as I’ve got older, it's something to be encouraged and nurtured, rather than thought of as just my history or a luxury. It’s a vital aspect of my creative life. It’s part of my essence.
T&P: How do you differentiate yourself in such a saturated field?
Milly: It’s true that therapy and coaching have become increasingly popular, especially post-pandemic. I have thought about this so much, and ultimately, I believe no two practitioners are the same. Even with similar training, the therapeutic relationship is deeply personal and unique. I see my work not just as a job but as a way of life. It’s a space of continual growth, learning, and deep connection. And honestly? The more, the merrier—there’s room for us all!
T&P What are the five most significant challenges of self-employment?
Milly: Planning, maintaining work/life balance, loneliness, financial risk, and prioritising self-care require ongoing attention and investment to sustain a healthy practice.
T&P: How do you honor your worth in terms of pricing?
Milly: This! It was a tough one for me early on. Pricing a service—especially one so personal—can raise all kinds of emotional issues around worth and identity. But I’ve come to see that clarity and consistency around fees are essential—for both me as a practitioner and my clients. It allows the relationship to start on solid, respectful ground.
T&P: How do you decide what to charge?
Milly: I have a standard rate but adjust it for around 20% of my clients, depending on financial need. Others in my practice subsidise that adjustment. When I work with businesses or teams, I charge a percentage-based fee linked to their annual turnover.
T&P: Do you find it hard to ask for money?
Milly: I did at first. I come from a background where money was always tight, so talking about it—especially in the context of something as personal as therapy—felt uncomfortable. Over time, I’ve learned that fee transparency is part of creating a respectful, grounded relationship. I always discuss it during the initial consultation so we know where we stand. I also keep a portion of my practice flexible to ensure that support is accessible—that’s important to me.
T&P: What do you spend on running your business?
Milly: For a long time, working from home kept costs low. Now, with a new space, those expenses are growing. A website and solid marketing tools are key initial investments that pay off in the long run.
T&P: How do you stay creative—especially when seeing the same clients long-term?
Milly: Such a good question! Because as someone who always wants to feel engaged, I hate to admit that I always thought I might struggle with this. I was worried I wouldn’t be good enough to keep focused. However, thankfully, I have found the therapeutic relationship's evolving nature endlessly fascinating. I am constantly surprised by what I learn from my clients, and because of this, I stay curious. I am so grateful for this. This relationship regularly sparks new learning that fuels both me and my practice. That and my ever-evolving 18-year-old son Sol – him and his zest for life is a constant source of inspiration.
T&P: Do you prefer annual payments or monthly debits for expenses?
Milly: Oh, I’m absolutely the person double-checking every payment! My dyslexic brain means I keep meticulous (if slightly chaotic) lists to track things. Financial clarity helps me stay grounded.
T&P: What about self-employment enhances your life?
Milly: It’s been a journey of self-discovery. I’ve created a career that aligns with who I am, both personally and professionally. It’s stretched me emotionally and intellectually in all the right ways. It’s deeply fulfilling. Being older has been a gift!
T&P: What do you miss out on by not being in traditional full-time employment?
Milly: The safety net—pensions, benefits, paid holidays—isn’t there, which can be tough. But the autonomy and freedom I’ve gained outweigh the trade-offs. I do have to plan ahead financially—there’s no clocking off—but I wouldn’t trade the life I’ve built.
T&P: What are your ‘three ingredients’—your personal “Trinity”—that ground your authenticity?
Milly: Curious, excited, and ready—those are the energies I think I bring to my work, my relationships, and my ongoing growth as a woman.
T&P: What are you reading, or can you share a book with us that has changed your life?
Milly: I always found reading incredibly difficult, so I didn’t read novels for a long time to avoid that feeling of struggle. But I read a lot more when I had my son —it was such an exciting discovery.
Aside from the academic texts I read to support my work, I’ve recently been getting into the books of Irvin Yalom, an excellent American psychotherapist. He writes beautifully about the therapeutic relationship and the process of therapy itself, and his work has really resonated with me.
T&P: What are you currently working on?
Milly: I’m excited about a project focused on helping women return to work after life transitions—whether motherhood, illness recovery, or a complete career change. I’ve also been doing deeper research into women’s health, psychotherapy, and entrepreneurship. So, I'm excited to see how I can incorporate that into my work.
You can connect and find Milly here